Don't get me wrong, I love my sister and her family as much as the next person and I was sad for like 5 minutes when they left and all, but I feel much safer with them gone. I think this has to do with the renters that moved in to their house. I don't know if you know who that black truck belongs to, but I watched my fair share of "Walker, Texas Ranger" in college to know that truck belongs to Chuck Norris. With Chuck living across the street, I feel no danger. I think that if "Tortilla" was coming up the stairs, Chuck Norris would not only check my closets and under my beds, but he'd also check the fridge, kick "Tortillas" butt and then kick the crap out of "Cheese" while he was in there just for good measure. . . that's waaaaay more than I can say for Ryan. All Ryan does is kind of check for "Tortilla" and then laugh at me. So what if I'm afraid of "Tortilla!" If he was coming up your stairs while your 2 year old taunted him, you'd be scared too! You wouldn't be laughing if I was killed by a "Tortilla," flour or corn--the grain wouldn't matter . . . it wouldn't be funny to you then! What if "Tortilla" got all up in my grill and suffocated me in a burrito hold? Or in a 7-layer burrito hold! Then who'd be feeling sad? You Ryan, you!
Go Chuck Norris! or should I call you Walker? May you and your red-glowing bathroom window protect me from the Mexican Food forces that taunt me!
3 comments:
OH-EM-GEE! You are sooooo lucky you have Chuck Norris living next to you! I've watched my fair share of Walk, Texas Ranger as well and I've come to a few conclusions about Chuck Norris:
- Chuck Norris can beat the sun in a staring contest.
- Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd because no one fools Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.
- Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make him drink.
- Chuck Norris has his tonsils removed with a chain saw.
- Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident and still managed to walk it off.
- Chuck Norris picks his teeth with other people's teeth.
- Chuck Norris got his driver's license at the age of 16 seconds.
- Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep... he waits.
If I remember correctly, I had to put on my pants to come check for Tortilla. That should count.
I think you should bring some tortillas to the new neighbors living in my house as a housewarming gift.
It is strange to see those strange cars in front of my house.
Hey, I think I can one-up you -- my brother is going to be on COPS either this Friday or next. I'll let you know if I feel more safe or more scared having him in the family after I watch.
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